That question stayed with me after this morning’s Impact Exchange Community conversation with Roberta on Nonviolent Communication (NVC), the process Marshall Rosenberg described as a “language of life.”

What struck me most was the way Roberta brought these principles to life: with honesty, humor, vulnerability and the credibility that comes from living the work, not just teaching it. Roberta opened by sharing parts of her own journey and some of the difficult experiences that led her into this work years ago. You could immediately feel this was not someone presenting concepts from a book, but someone who has genuinely lived and practiced this work herself. One part of the discussion particularly resonated with many of us: Someone raised the observation that it can sometimes be easier to bring empathy and curiosity to people we barely know.. than to the people closest to us. Why? Perhaps because with family, close friends or long-time colleagues, “history” walks into the room before we do. Assumptions and sometimes “old hurts” do too. Part of us stops listening because part of us thinks it already knows.. I feel that is exactly where this process becomes hardest and most needed. Before reacting, defending or rushing to solve something, what if we paused and asked: – What do I really want this conversation to lead to? – Am I trying to connect… or simply to be right? So often, the hardest part is not speaking. It is the willingness to take a moment to breathe, become aware and find honest words for what is actually happening inside us. The body often trying to tell us something.. but so often we do not pay attention until.. The knot in the throat. The heaviness in the chest. The racing mind at 3am. As we discussed in the group, simply expressing our feelings and needs in an authentic way, already changes the conversation. It also reminded me why the Inner Development Goals resonate so strongly with me: as they invite us to strengthen the inner capacities that shape how we relate to ourselves and to others. Thank you Roberta for such a rich and grounding session today and thank you as well to everyone in the Impact Exchange community for the quality of reflection and openness in the room. In a world that increasingly rewards speed and fast reaction, the ability to truly listen and stay in relationship may become one of the most important human capacities we continue to develop.

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